The Eyes of Rin
by Caribous
Summary: .[The Neglected Shrine 03] How Rin Hoshizora found peace. [Maki N., Nico Y.] [Hanayo K., Rin H.] [Nico Y., Rin H.]
1. She's gone, Hanayo!

**She's gone, Hanayo!**

For some reason, part-time shrine maiden Tojou Nozomi suddenly thought of the old, neglected shrine when the first long rays of sunset appeared at her feet as she swept the steps.

She had long known there was another, older shrine behind and a little to the north of the one she helped maintain. Over the years, it had been neglected and started to fall apart. Undoubtedly, the presence of the more popular shrine had eclipsed it. Nozomi knew that the bonze who had this shrine built a coupole of generations ago had written that the other shrine wasn't spiritually upright anymore. She also knew the one time she'd gone to look at it, it had filled her with unease. But saying so to other people would just look like reiigious competition, she assumed.

She tried to tell those close to her that it would be a bad idea to visit it. It did not seem to be maintained, and perhaps not even any priests lived there anymore. It was a wonder that someone in Tokyo hadn't reclaimed and used the real estate it represented, but often shrines had a preservation clause which the city had to honor. If it weren't so close to her shrine, Nozomi would have almost felt a little sad about it.

The building of this shrine had been seen as an aggressive move at the time and had engendered ill will. Especially so as people neglected the older shrine in favor of the new one. But that was many decades ago now; no one cared about shrine squabbles of the past nowadays.

One of Nozomi's friends who had not listened to her - because she'd been too excited about her upcoming skateboarding exhibition to pay attention - was Hoshizora Rin. In fact, Rin had been headed to the shrine Nozomi worked at while the shrine maiden was pondering it.

On seeing Nozomi, Rin was embarrassed about praying to show off in a skateboard competition on video.

 ** _"I'll do this another time,_** " she thought, although the exhibition was soon.

Rin made her way away from the shrine, and by coincidence, she made out another shrine not far from the bigger, newer one Nozomi was at.

 **" _Maybe this is a spiritual place just for me?_ "** Rin wondered. She noticed a couple of blank wishes lying near the collection box. She pulled out the marker she'd brought to use at Nozomi's shrine and wrote a wish on it, then hung it on one of the pins still sticking out of the eaves.

Unhesitatingly, she dropped a coin into the mossy contribution box and rang the bell. It had a deep but muffled tone.

Placing her hands in front of her in prayer, she wished:

 **"I wish Rin can make a great impact in the skateboarding, and even get on the news nation-wide. Rin wants to do something unforgettable."**

Rin somehow felt like her wish had been heard, and even granted. Satisfied, she turned around and walked home. On the way out she saw a couple of weathered hand-painted signs. One designated this as _"Zankoku asobi jinja_." And another, leaning towards the ground, said " _Zangyaku akugi jinja."_ Well, Rin was never cruel, though she was often mischievous and playful. Maybe she had met the shrine half-way. So maybe it would grant her half a wish. Who could say.

Hoshizora had proven the most athletic of all the Otonokizaka "school idols."

Now in her senior year, she had enthusiastically agreed with some new kouhais that skateboarding should be a club there. The headmistress, Minami-sensei, did not agree and so Rin and the others had to practice away from school. Amazingly, Rin took to skateboarding more than anything before it. A natural, she even won a contest after only five months of skateboarding. She also looked dashing in her tomboy way. Boys thought she looked young and vigorous. Even some girls saw her as a "prince." At any rate, Rin got sponsors and started to skate at competitions and exhibitions that were televised. But the upcoming event was specail: only the best skateboarder girls in the Kanto area would be there. It was Rin's first time in the big leagues, so naturally she was dancing with excitement.

The exhibition and competition had gone well, and Rin had been a standout. Afterwards, some of the "extreme" skateboarders had gone on to do dangerous individual stunts. One of the sponsors had suggested someone skateboard down the railing of steps that ran a full two blocks, and had some curves and bends on the way down. Even the veteran skateboarders had refused. The railing was rickety and smooth and the conditions were terrible.

Rin eyed it curiously. "No way, Hoshizora!" said one of the best skateboarders. "If your curiosity gets you up on that rail, you will lose all nine lives, kitty!"

"Rin is pretty light and agile, nyan." Rin wanted to do it. It was just as she'd wished, something that would really stand out, and make an impact.

Some of the boarders turned away, others said angry words to the sponsor whose idea it was. The cameras, of course, all swung to Rin. She buckled on her helmet and squared her shoulders. With a nimble flip, she'd settled herself and her board on the flat part of the rail. Then with a cry of "Nyan!" she pushed forward, on to the down slope.

* * *

It was already on the news everywhere by the time Nico woke up and went online. "No!" she shouted. Hanayo was woken up, and looked at Nico, bleary-eyed. Nico was flipping from story to story, clearly upset. When Hanayo asked "What's going on, Nico-chan? Was there an attack?" Nico looked back at her. She knew she had tears in her eyes. She wondered somewhat frantically if there was any way she could delay this, keep Hanayo in the dark just a little longer. And really, there wasn't. How did Nico want Hanayo to learn about the awful truth?

She came back over to the bed. "Hanayo, pumpkin, something really awful has happened and I don't know how to tell you. It's Rin."

Hanayo got a really cold feeling.

"Is she - is she hurt, Nico?"

"She's gone, Hanayo. Some crazy skateboarding contest had her do something she wasn't able to and they killed her."

"Ki-killed her? Rin is dead? Rin is dead?"

"I'm so sorry, baby."

"No," said Hanayo. "You're lying. I know you are. Why would you say that?"

Nico opened up Hanayo's travel bag and packed some of her clothes and her toothbrush in it.

"What are you doing, Nico?" Hanayo demanded, angrily.

"I am going to take you home. You need to be with your family."

Hanayo started to believe this might not be a cruel joke, or a stupid mistake.

"Let me see."

Nico bowed her head and pointed at her computer.

The article that was up said that a young girl skateboarder had been killed doing a suicidal stunt riding a third of a kilometer on a steep, winding rail, at the prompting of an unethical sponsor in a competition that had not had any real oversight. Editorials were already saying there should be no more skateboarding competitions in Tokyo and the Hoshizora family was demanding justice. The picture of Rin was from another competition - she looked brave and very alive.

Hanayo couldn't stay standing. She staggered over to the bed and fell on it. Nico heard her tortured sobs and gave her a pat and kept on packing.

"Hanayo, honey? I'm ready to take you home. You shouldn't be away from your family at a time like this."

"Nico... Ni-Nico?"

"Hanayo, baby."

"Nico, you're my family too, please stay with me tonight at home."

Nico was really touched. Especially since she'd expected Hanayo to withdraw into herself. Without her best friend around, Hanayo lost some of her identity, and Nico was aware.

She knew, too, that Hanayo would be too devastated to be angry, right now. Well, Nico did anger well enough for two. The Rin she knew could be very shrewd when someone was running away from a problem, or giving her a dubious argument, or lying. But when it came to her personal safety, Rin was basically an idiot. Had she even turned 18 yet? Nico didn't think so. So they'd talked a young girl into killing herself on camera. That was murder in Nico's book.

Hanayo, meanwhile, had gotten herself together. The idea, the good, good idea, the only idea she had, she only had room for one idea at a time right now, was to just keep moving. Let doing things you needed to do numb you for a while.

She couldn't help herself - she read more in Nico's article. At the speed Rin had hit the railing at the fastest part, the rickety structure had entirely separated - it was a freak accident that she hit the joint just when a heavy-set group of about ten men had been leaning on it. They were all injured, though none of them had died.

The railing had catapulted Rin away, then fallen on her. For some reason the story used the word "obliterated" to describe what happened to Rin. As if they wanted to hurt Hanayo as much as possible.

Nico dragged Hanayo away and shut down her computer. "Please get in the car, baby."

Hanayo headed to the car, and Nico got in with the keys. Before she started it, she pulled out her phone. "I have to do this now, Hanayo, I promise I won't be long."

"Maki, this is Nico. Hanayo and I just heard the news. I am taking her to her parents' house. We thought of you, Maki. I'm so sorry. Some time soon, we should meet up." From Nico's face she wasn't hearing anything. Then Hanayo heard Maki's voice "I don't want to talk to anyone! Are you an idiot!? Go away!"

"Damn." Nico said as she pushed the off button. "That could have gone better."

Looking at Hanayo's even-more-stricken face she hastened to reassure her.

"Maki will eventually be glad we called right away, Hanayo, I promise. This is just her with her guard down. She needs time to build her armor back up."

Not for the first time, Hanayo thought Nico was a little cynical in her evaluations of people. But compared to Nico, she felt like she'd been spoiled. Oh, and Rin was dead.

Better not to think, she looked at Nico hopefully, and Nico started the car up. Pretty soon, they'd be at her parents house, and Hanayo could be hugged by her parents. And Rin was obliterated.

Wait. "So Rin didn't ..."

"No, I don't think she did. It was very quick."

"Nico.."

"Hanayo."

"Being a school idol, it's tough."

"It is tough, honey."

"But it doesn't KILL YOU, Nico! It doesn't .. doesn't ... O-OBLITERATE you."

"It wasn't my place to tell Rin what to do. You know we weren't talking. And when you told her, she promised to be safe. She started at least protecting herself. And what do you think Maki is thinking? She's going to be a doctor. You think she wanted Rin doing this?"

"Why couldn't Maki talk her out of it?"

"We'll probably never know, honey. I am not going to ask Maki a question like that. It's not like I dislike her."

"When Maki's over it .. when she is ... Nico, she'll be single again."

"And so what, Hanayo? You think I'd leave you for her? I am not secretly harboring an intense and guilty love for that girl."

Hanayo had to smile at that - awfully SPECIFIC denial.

Then she remembered. "Rin's dead, Nico! She's dead! my best friend and we'll never see each other again! What do I do, Nico?" Nico was driving slowly so it didn't matter that Hanayo was clinging to her arm as she drove. "Let's just get you home," Nico said.

When they got there, however, the Hoshizoras were there.

Even though her parents smothered her in a tight hug, Hanayo pushed her hand back. Nico, who had been standing back, took her hand.

Mr. Hoshizora asked who that was. On being introduced to Nico, he asked if that wasn't the girl who got Rin in trouble all the time then stopped speaking to her. The Koizumis said that wasn't true. Nico was polite and respectful, and said "Sometimes, I think I did have ideas that got Rin, Honoka and me in trouble. I regret that. And I haven't been seeing Rin much after high school, I am sorry to say. Ummm" Nico paused. "I talked with Rin on the phone about three days ago, though."

The Hoshizoras were surprised. "What did she say?" As is unfortunately usual, before Rin's exhibition they hadn't had any long conversations, just the normal family talk in passing.

"She said she was on her way to the shrine to pray for success. She seemed very excited and happy. But"

Nico paused again. "But she never made it there. We have a friend who cares for it and she never saw Rin-chan, not all day. I happened to phone her that day, so I asked. Her name is Tojou Nozomi, she's at university now but it's not far. Rin's parents, I think you should talk to her. She told me she had a bad feeling about Rin, she's really spiritual."

If it had been Maki's parents, they would have dismissed Nico right then. As it was, Mr. Hoshizora looked at Hanayo - the girl they knew was Rin's best friend, and trustworthy.

"I .. I thinkyoushouldtalktohertoo!" Hanayo blurted out. Sbe also gave Nico a hurt look. Why hadn't she told Hanayo about those conversations? If Hanayo had known something ominous was coming, she could have pleaded with Rin to be extra careful, after all. But she agreed that talking to Nozomi would benefit Rin's parents. Her graceful and sympathetic personality was a good fit for grieving, angry parents.

Nico responded to what Hanayo was saying with her glance. "Hanayo I didn't mention it to you because I didn't see what you could do about something like Nozomi having a bad feeling. I did say she should talk to Maki about it, and I didn't suggest it in a nasty way."

Mrs. Hoshizora and Mrs. Koizumi had quietly started a conversation in low tones. Mrs. Koizumi turned to them at that and said "where is Maki-chan, and how is she doing."

"Umm she's at the place her parents rented for her near school .. and she's not doing well." Hanayo said. "Nico called her and she basically yelled at her and told her she wants everyone to leave her alone. But I don't think being alone is good."

Mrs. Hoshizora smiled sadly. "As Rin-chan's parents, we know how she feels. And you're right, it's not good. Do you have the address, and her phone number?" She turned to her husband "We should visit her. We'll understand her, and we may all feel a little better. It's what Rin-chan would want us to do, honey."

Mr. Hoshizora still had a hostile and suspicious feeling about the Yazawa girl. "Why are you here with Hanayo if you don't get along with Rin?" he asked her suddenly.

"I wa-wanted her to come, I asked her to come, I really want her here, Mr. Hoshizora."

"I understand that somehow there is the idea out there that Rin-chan and I were enemies, or on the outs or something?" Nico said pensively. "I actually have a history with her, and it's certainly not all bad. And it was often very close."

"Nico-chan, Honoka-sempai and Rin-chan were a kind of trio at Otonokizaka," Hanayo explained. "They did get in a lot of trouble, especially for pulling pranks, but they also had a lot of fun. Rin-chan used to tell me all the stories and she was so filled with enjoyment. And also her and Nico sometimes were closer than other times."

"If we keep hinting around, they are going to lose patience with me, Hanayo," Nico said. "They deserve to know as much about Rin's life as we can tell them, I think." She turned to the Hoshizoras.

"What do you know about Rin's dating life?"

Mr. Hoshizora answered, looking uncomfortable. "She told us she was dating a girl from Otonokizaka. I don't understand how that could be. Otonokizaka is a respectable school, and they are both girls. She said that it was Nishikino, a girl from her year, who was doing that 'school idol' thing with her. I didn't approve of them putting Rin in flashy clothes that showed off her body too much. But then again, maybe if we'd insisted she wear dresses, after she suddenly refused to one day, she would have had a more normal school life."

"Well," said Nico, "I am not ashamed of Rin. Hanayo isn't either."

Hanayo wanted Nico not to say any more but realized she would. So she shook her head. It's not like she could agree with being ashamed of Rin.

"So ..." Nico looked thoughtful. Then she said, decisively: "before Nishikino, was Hanayo here, and before her, was me."

She let that sink in.

"So, right now, you are looking at two of Rin's three girlfriends. And if I had been able to get through to Maki today you would be seeing the third one. We can't know if Rin would have grown up to like boys, too. Or get married. But we do know she liked girls. Some girls have always liked girls and girls have always dated. In the old days, they just had to sneak around and hide shamefully and lie about it. And Rin would never do that. It's not like Rin robbed a bank. I am not telling you to shame you or make you feel sad. Rin was happy with how you treated her, even after she told you she was dating Maki. You have nothing to feel bad about that way. I'm just saying, Rin was successful in her social life as well as her school life and her sports life. She got what she wanted, just not what other people might want for her."

"And there's this ..."

She pulled out a photo. It was Rin looking completely girly - and happy - in a beautiful white dress with a gigantic pink bow. She gave it to Mrs. Hoshizora who showed it to her husband. Nico stepped back, because she knew they wouldn't want her to say anything more. Indeed, they grew quiet and both of them had tears running down their faces.

A little while later Mr. Hoshizora went out with Mr. Koizumi to smoke.

"So, what weren't you two telling us about Rin," Mrs. Hoshizora asked, when the door was closed.

Nico looked at Hanayo, but kept quiet.

"What?" said Hanayo. You could tell she wanted to say "Someone help me!" but - and Nico realized it with a bit of both sadness and disappointment - normally that meant "Rin, help me!" and now Hanayo couldn't say that.

"It's nothing, it's just that when Nico said she and Rin were girlfriends, both of you looked uncomfortable, like she wasn't telling the truth. And you didn't explain why Rin had three girlfriends in a short time. Or why you two are together. I thought over what you said, and I agree: the time to know all about my daughter, so I can remember her properly, as she really was, is now."

Nico still left it up to Hanayo. She was the known quantity, much closer to Rin.

"We-well …. Really? You want to know?"

Mrs. Hoshizora nodded.

"If this is something I shouldn't be hearing about, I can go make more tea," Mrs. Koizumi said.

"We-well … it involves me as well, Mama … so … so I think you should hear, if I can tell Rin's mama."

Then, after quite a pause, where Hanayo looked down at the floor and gathered her courage from somewhere:

"Okay … you … you're right. Nico and Rin .. they weren't exactly girlfriends … umm I always loved Rin .. but .. she had a problem with .. sometimes … knowing what people were feeling or … what she should do … I don't know how to put it … she would just kind of charge forward and … sometimes .. it caused problems."

Mrs. Hoshizora nodded, it wasn't entirely a new element of Rin for her, after all.

"And … and … I know I was considered very innocent, and Maki, too … but Rin was the most innocent … about … such as .. sex and such."

"And Maki got some manga from Honoka … and Maki was reading … girl's love manga … and Rin .. saw it. And she nagged Maki a lot. I saw it. Until .. until Maki let her read one and she liked it but she made me and Maki explain it and it was super, super embarrassing. And I don't know, but she got excited while reading it and she figured .. who could she talk to about it besides me because I was getting so flustered, and Maki was saying 'I don't want to talk about it any more, Rin, show some modesty.' "

"So, ummm her usual gang was Honoka and Nico, right? And somehow she thought Honoka would be embarrassed because it was her manga, and she'd tell Kotori and Umi and Umi would say it was shameful, Rin was sure. So she thought, Nico! Nico will not only talk about this but maybe she'll know about it. And she did wait and drag Nico off to a room to discuss it. Nico was completely embarrassed but she was, umm a little worried about Rin running around school talking about girl's love, so she discussed it. A little less nervously than me and Maki, I guess? She is older. But anyways, umm Rin suggested they try doing what was in the manga and Nico said well you should do that with people you really like, and Rin said she really liked Nico, and Nico was flustered and trying to explain, and while she was explaining, Rin kind of umm pushed Nico against the wall and kissed her. It was Nico's first kiss and she was really shocked."

Mrs. Hoshizora and Mrs. Koizumi were obviously shocked as well.

"And," and by now Hanayo was in the moment, remembering what Rin and Nico had told her about that day, so she wasn't even looking up, just looking down and remembering and talking, "Nico was so shocked she didn't say anything, so Rin kissed her and her neck and kind of nibbled on her ear, and Rin put her hands on Nico's shirt and pushed it up and Nico wasn't wearing any bra, and Rin put her hands on Nico's … br-breasts and kept on kissing her and Nico was so shocked she just stood stark still and couldn't mo-move and Rin even .. she even touched Nico's place and she kept rubbing Nico's breast and kissing her all over and touching her and Nico had her mo-moment even though she was shocked and kind of hu-humiliated and when Rin was done Nico pulled her shirt down and she straightened her clothes and she ran away without a word and went home and I guess she went to her room and didn't talk to anyone and then she phoned me pretty late and she told me all about it and she was crying. So yeah calling that being Rin's girlfriend is pretty much a lie."

Mrs. Hoshizora asked gently, "Is there any more?"

Hanayo looked up with tears in her eyes and nodded.

"So, ummm even though Rin and I are usually inseparable, I was super, super mad at her and Nico couldn't stand to even see her and that's where Rin probably talked about it to you? And that went on for quite a while. We managed to keep doing practice somehow, but after that mostly Nico and I went home and Maki and Rin went home."

Mrs. Koizumi asked, "When did you and Rin get together, then?"

Hanayo looked up again.

"Well, after a few weeks, I decided to try explaining to Rin again. I mean, she looked so sad and she had no idea, really why everyone was mad at her. As hard as that is to believe. She was just so innocent in some ways."

Mrs. Hoshizora said, "You know, that's our fault. We just assumed Rin would figure out everything on her own, and now I see that that was never true. She takes after both her parents, I am afraid."

"I finally got Rin to understand that what she did with Nico was a sacred thing, that she took Nico's first kiss and first time without permission or any cooperation from Nico. That took a while. I told her what Nico meant, that only if you love someone should you do sex with them? Or something. And yes, people had sex just for fun, but Nico wasn't like that, even though normally she was one of the fun-loving trio. So the very next day Rin wanted to go home with me. And she said she thought that she and I liked each other the way Nico said people should to have sex, so we should try what was in Honoka's magazines. I wasn't really ready for that, or even to completely forgive Rin. I wanted to teach her that she should really try to be more aware of the situation and how people felt. But."

Hanayo looked down and didn't lift her head.

"I also thought about … about not just that I was super, super mad at Rin for what she did to Nico, but that it was Nico first, not me. And if Rin was wanting to do sex for fun, then all the girls that thought she was a handsome prince because she was cute and good at sports, she'd probably find a girlfriend right away. So, to keep Rin with me, I said yes. So we did. Even though I really wasn't ready and I didn't want to and I was so insecure. But the way Rin enjoyed my … my body .. was good and … and she said she loved me and only we would be together like that from now on. And I wanted that. So I said to the other girls in Muse that they should keep it a secret from the school but Rin and I were girlfriends now. Nico looked at me like I stabbed her in the back."

"I sent her a text and said, if Rin and I are together, Rin won't bother Nico. She never replied."

"And after that, it was Nico and Maki going home and Rin and me."

Mrs. Hoshizora said, "But how did it end up with Rin and Maki together, then?"

"We-well," Hanayo continued, "It wasn't for quite a while. When Rin told you about Maki is when they got together. Before that, it was me and Rin and Nico and Maki. When Rin did that with Nico, Nico was already in love with Maki. And once they went to Maki's house to study, and Maki had noticed how shaky Nico was these days. So it all came out and Nico was crying her eyes out and she stayed over and slept next to Maki, so it came out that Nico loved Maki. Maki liked Nico more than she liked anyone else, already, but she probably wasn't ready to be a girlfriend, just like I wasn't. But she felt sorry for Nico and she was curious as to what having a girlfriend would be like, so she said they should go out. Eventually they even did sex things together, but Nico was always nervous now. But she really clung to Maki. They didn't have their fights anymore, but sometimes if Maki slipped back to the old ways, Nico couldn't always fake a reply … she just got hurt or even teared up. Anyway, some days Maki had a great time with Nico. It was nice being so adored. Honestly, Nico was like a little kid the way she looked up to Maki, just worshipped her. But she was very clingy and jealous, I guess."

"Anyway, after a while .. months … Maki was under pressure from her family to cut out music .. under pressure from her teacher to work even harder at piano … under pressure from Muse to write more songs … and she started to think of her being with Nico as just more pressure. Everything was so serious. Nico was all she would love Maki forever. And in the meantime, Rin was becoming curious about what it would be like to .. umm to do sex things with other girls besides me … and because she's Rin … she told me … and I wouldn't go home with her and I almost stopped talking to her. And I guess Maki was complaining about the stress she was under to Rin … and complaining about how clingy Nico was … and finally I think she even said Nico was very shaky when they had sex and she even cried sometimes. Although she was very loving when they cuddled afterward. I hate saying all this, Nico!"

Nico just squeezed Hanayo's hand.

"Hanayo, you are my brave girl, and I give you permission to talk about anything. This is a once-in-a-lifetime conversation. Everyone here is taking this seriously. I am not worried a bit that what happened with me in the past is going to come out, except to people who are involved."

Hanayo looked Nico in the eye for a while, then hugged her. She turned around to the two older women. But she was looking at the floor again.

"Anyway, that's about it. When I was ignoring Rin and Nico was busy doing something with her siblings, Rin and Maki had sex. Then Rin told me, and I phoned Nico. Nico phoned Maki and they had a screaming fight over the phone that Nico's siblings heard. They'd never heard anything like it, and Nico couldn't forgive Maki for making her get like that. Maki knew she was doing something hurtful and wrong, but Rin, I think, only got it a little bit. If Rin felt guilty at all, she probably thought me avoiding her for a while was like breaking up, maybe?"

She looked up again ..

"It's amazing we were all able to still do our practices and performances. Nico and I both sent texts to Rin and Maki. We basically said we wouldn't drag our fight into Muse, and we wouldn't see each other outside of Muse, and please honor that. We were so heart-broken, and only each other understood each other. Eventually, we got together. Not in a fast-moving sexy way, but in a slow, careful way. I like how Nico always - always - pays attention to me and my feelings. It's how Rin was as a friend, but not as a girlfriend."

"The same is true for me," Nico said. It was her first time adding to the story. "I love how Hanayo knows how much things can break your heart and hurt you. And it was the same with Maki. When we were friends, even though we fought, she always had a sixth sense about how I felt, and that went away once we were girlfriends."

"And then we all sort of reconciled, eventually," Hanayo continued. "So that's why Nico's a little upset people would talk about it like she was Rin's enemy. I mean, Nico never, ever did one thing wrong dealing with Rin. She was a victim and she forgave Rin and tried to patch things up and let us be like before. It wasn't, quite, but we started to be able to be in the same place outside of school and outside of Muse. Things happened fast, it's true, but that was due to Rin and Maki. That's why Nico called Rin. It's not like it's super uncommon. And Rin and I started doing friend things again. It took longer for Nico and Maki and Nico wouldn't go somewhere where Maki was if she started to feel bad. But anyway, the truth is Rin and Maki cheated on us and broke our hearts, I guess."

Nico said then, "Well, I am now awfully glad Rin and I started to get along, now. I would hate to add guilt over not being reconciled to the sadness. And I can get mad along with you, Mrs. Hoshizora. And Maki. Maki and I are better at getting mad than Hanayo and Rin were. It's almost our specialty."

Mrs. Hoshizora took a very deep breath.

"Okay, I think I get the picture. I had no idea a girls' high school academy could be such a soap opera. So part of Nico's grievance with my daughter is that because Rin molested her and humiliated her, Nico was anxious about sex, and that's one of the complaints her girlfriend had, which led to her leaving Nico for Rin. I love my daughter, but I can't blame Nico."

"Well," Nico said, "I wouldn't wish away my relationship with Hanayo. Maybe Hanayo and I were meant to be - we have so much in common - and Rin and Hanayo and Maki and I were meant to be best friends. Although my friendship with Maki never really recovered. I am going to push it. She needs someone. You and your husband visiting her is a great idea. But I can't get too close to Maki right now because that would make Hanayo feel more insecure. Eventually I can, but now is too early. And without Rin and Maki getting together, I wouldn't be with Hanayo."

Mrs. Hoshizora smiled a little. "Yes, life can be strange like that. So as far as I understand Nico, she buried her quarrel with Rin and was back on good terms. Did you and Rin and Honoka return to your old ways?"

"Yes," Nico said. "We did go out, just the three of us, a couple of times sort of recently, and have fun. We visited an arcade and a ramen place and even put on a performance for a bunch of school kids at a playground when they asked us to. It was a lot of fun."

"And what about you, Hanayo?" Mrs. Hoshizora asked.

"Me-me?" Hanayo said. She touched her nose.

"Were you able to reconcile with Rin, too? And Maki?"

"With Rin, of course! I mean even when I was super, super mad at her I missed her. I'm so used to showing everything to her, discussing everything with her. Without her it's like missing an arm or something. And Maki is Nico's business, mostly. If it hadn't been her, if I am honest, it would have been someone. I still look up to her in a lot of ways. The one thing, though, is I don't want her trying to win Nico back now that she doesn't have Rin. If that makes me a bad person, so be it."

Mrs. Hoshizora smiled again. "I don't think you have it in you to be a bad person, or a bad friend, Hanayo-chan. Alright, the men went out to give us this time, and I think we're nearly done. You telling me all that was, of course, quite a shock, but Nico-chan is right, you are a brave girl. I thank you, I really do, for telling me the truth. We will definitely visit Maki as soon as we can. Perhaps even tonight. And the other girl - Tojou-san?"

"Tojou Nozomi," Hanayo said, nodding.

"You want us to talk with her for various reasons, correct?"

"Ye-yes." Hanayo couldn't explain why, exactly. Nico wrote down Nozomi's address and phone number and handed it to Mrs. Hoshizora. Below it, she wrote Maki's details.

"Very well, but would you two do me a favor, then?"

Hanayo and Nico looked at her expectantly.

"Would you go and talk to her about all this, first, and ask her if she's up for a visit from Rin's parents? It seems like simple courtesy to do that."

Nico and Hanayo looked at each other, then both nodded.

"Hanayo, it surprises me you never talked about any of this with us. We could have helped you, baby," Mrs. Koizumi said, "but then, you take after your parents, too."

Meanwhile Nico sent Maki a text: "We are at Hanayo's and we met the Hoshizoras. They want to visit you. Put up with it. You can't say they don't understand. They do. They won't be disapproving. Hanayo and I are going to talk to Nozomi. The offer to meet up is open forever."

"It was good to meet both of you, Hanayo, Nico." Mrs. Hoshizora paused. "Nico, I will mention getting angry together to Nishikino-san. I feel no mother should go through this, and to suffer for the foolishness and greed of another, it is not to be tolerated. I wish now I had kept Rin more controlled, but a great deal of the blame rests with the exhibitors and the sponsors. Rin would not have wanted to end skateboard contests in Tokyo. But if these people are punished so strongly they can no longer do this, that will be a lesson to the rest."

"Umm," Hanayo interrupted. "I wanted to say .. I wanted to say I will miss her every day, forever."

Mrs. Hoshizora teared up again. "Thank you, Hanayo, it's good someone else feels that way, too. And thank you both for telling me that before she was lost to us, Rin had happiness and romance and accomplishment in her life. I think she was better off when eight others were watching over her, so thank you for that. Hanayo, you are always welcome at our house, we have always felt like you were part of our family."

And with that, she left.

Mrs. Koizumi saw her to her car then came back in.

"Hanayo, Nico, I think you should get ready for bed. If you go to bed later, you will still probably talk much of the night and you won't get any sleep. I will come in in a bit with some tea and I will sit by the bed and we can talk a bit more."

With Nico and Hanayo sitting up and clinging to each other, they talked out their feelings with Mrs. Koizumi. Hanayo cried herself out, and after her mother went to bed, Nico and Hanayo still talked quietly for another couple of hours. They did manage to sleep, finally, and with Nico holding her, Hanayo didn't have nightmares.

They woke up at a normal time, and it was time to visit Nozomi.


	2. Maki's Apartment, Hanayo's House

**Maki's Apartment, Hanayo's House, Nico and Hanayo's Cottage, Nico's House, Nozomi's Shrine**

 **Summary:**

Nico, Hanayo, Maki, Nozomi and the Hoshizoras try to come to terms with the tragedy that they've experienced - and with increasingly ominous events afterward. Nico decides Nozomi has the key; now she just has to convince Hanayo and Maki.

* * *

The Hoshizoras made their way to Maki Nishikino's apartment fairly quickly. They didn't stop for anything, as this wasn't, quite, a social visit. Mrs. Hoshizora tapped in Maki's number before they arrived. She asked if they could please come see her, and said they wouldn't stay long. Maki had gone silent for such a long time, Mrs. Hoshizora thought they'd lost connection and was about to give up or call again.

"You may," she suddenly heard. Then Maki really did hang up.

When they knocked, the Maki that came to the door was not the girl they remembered visiting Rin. Her hair was wildly disordered and limp, her robe — black, of course — was thrown on, her face was a mess of tears and bits of tissues. Her eyes were almost as red as her hair. And as far as the Hoshizoras could tell, she didn't care. Then again, neither did they.

Mama Hoshizora waited until Maki shut the door behind them, but didn't wait to take off her jacket before throwing her arms around Maki. Mr. Hoshizora joined her, clumsily. They just stood there without saying anything for a while. Maki started crying again, which made Mrs. Hoshizora feel relieved. They heard the noise of a teakettle. Maki stepped back and went and attended it. She came back with a teapot and three cups. They went into her living area and sat down.

"What did Nico say about me," she asked.

"Nothing much," said Mr. Hoshizora, surprised. "I suppose … the only thing she said about you was that Rin was happy with you, maybe? Yes, I think that was it. And we shouldn't be ashamed, because she wouldn't want us to."

"It was Hanayo that told us you were in a bad way, Nishikino-san," began Mrs. Hoshizora.

"Maki is fine."

"Ah. Well, when she said we should see you, Nico agreed."

"I guess that makes sense," Maki mused. "Normally Nico's the busy-body, and Hanayo's too shy and nervous to intervene. But these are special circumstances."

"I think I was a little too hard on that Yazawa - is it Yazawa? — girl," Mr. Hoshizora said, hesitantly. "Are you her friend?"

"No," said Maki. "But I was, at one time. I know her fairly well, or I think I probably do. But people change." She paused, and said, not at all to them, "I'm changing."

"So are we," Mrs. Hoshizora said, choosing to acknowledge her anyway. "Rin was an only child, and we won't have any more. We're not parents any more."

"No," said Maki. "Please don't say that. I still love Rin, even if she's gone, and if you do, too, you're still her parents."

"It's strange there's no word for this. At least we have miboujin and otokoyamome when a spouse is gone," said Mr. Hoshizora.

"That's because once a parent, always a parent. That's what my mother often says," Maki replied.

"Maki-san, I do not know if I am more heartbroken or angry," Mrs. Hoshizora said, suddenly.

"Me, too," Maki said. "It may not be nice, but I am glad Nico called me this morning. But only because it gave me someone to yell at."

"We were not predisposed to like that girl, and we don't know anything about her. Still, it seems that she understands. She wasn't put out at you in the slightest, as far as I could see." That was Mr. Hoshizora's contribution.

"Probably not," Maki agreed. "Back when we were friends, we put up with each other's quirks, and these are special circumstances. I am not sure which of us has a worse temper, when it gets down to basics."

"She said something like that when my husband was out smoking with Mr. Koizumi, Maki. The Nico girl said someone who's good at getting angry needed to act, and that she and you were good at it."

"Yes. Yes we do," Maki said, decisively. "You probably know Rin wouldn't have wanted a skateboard ban."

"No, she wouldn't, though I now would, I think," Mrs. Hoshizora said, and her husband nodded.

"But she would have wanted justice from the company if it were me or Hanayo. Or Honoka, or any of us, really. I can help with a lawyer. If you want, I can tell the court or the papers we were living together and join in any suit."

"And if we don't?" Mr. Hoshizora asked.

"Either way, as long as you're doing something, I'll just help. I'll only step in if nothing's getting done."

They talked about the weather. It was the kind Rin liked. Maki found a couple of pictures of Rin the Hoshizoras hadn't seen — it was that sort of day. She looked pensive after a while, and said, "I suppose I should have asked what Hanayo said about me?"

"Beyond what we said earlier tonight? Only that she wanted to keep Nico to herself. It seemed she was worried about losing her to you."

Mr. Hoshizora looked surprised. Hadn't the Yazawa girl said she was dating Rin? And from the looks of it, she was now with the Koizumi girl. When did high school girls find the time to have such a tempestuous love life? It certainly hadn't been like that in his day! He did realize this must have come out when he was smoking, and, after all, that was one reason he'd left. To give the women more time to talk privately.

"Wow," Maki said. "Hanayo said that?"

Mrs. Hoshizora nodded.

"That would never happen. Nico would never do that to her, neither would I. And I burned my bridges with Nico pretty thoroughly. I was even almost surprised she called me, and was so calm. Then again, she's been through this — explaining to the little kids in her family their father had died, being calm and is dealing-with-death Nico, she probably learned this when she was twelve and still in grade school. I take it some of our history came out?"

Mrs. Hoshizora nodded.

"Well, is that bad, I wonder?" Maki said, thinking out loud. She wasn't normally so verbal, but these were special circumstances. "I suppose you'd want to know everything, really."

"I did," Mrs. Hoshizora agreed. "I grilled both girls about Rin, and got a fairly clear picture of her last few years."

"It's a cliche, but if ever anyone was taken away in the prime of her life, just when it was going perfectly, after a lot of struggles …" Maki said. She set her teacup down. It was mostly empty, she'd grabbed it nervously. But now her hand was shaking.

"Thank you for visiting," she said, suddenly. "I'm very tired, but I really mean it, thank you. It was a good thing."

The Hoshizoras nodded. They never had taken off their jackets. "We all need company in our misery," Mrs. Hoshizora said. "It makes you appreciate the ones you love that are still there."

"Nothing we do," Maki replied.

The Hoshizoras looked at her.

"Nothing we do, no matter what, even if we put them out of business, ban skating contests, demand safer railings. Nothing we do will bring her back even for a minute."

"No, it won't," Mrs. Hoshizora said. "I lost one of my sisters when I was younger — she would have been Rin's aunt if she'd lived, such a sad thought. But we lost her, and that's how it was."

"But we can't do nothing. We shouldn't do nothing. Rin-chan wouldn't stand for it," Mr. Hoshizora said. He was relieved that Maki had decided to wrap things up. He was having a hard time maintaining a stoic front.

"Yes," Maki said. "Right now I feel selfish, but it would be good if fewer girls feel like I do in the future, rather than more."

They hugged Maki again, her eyes filled with tears again. They left.

* * *

Hanayo decided to stay home from school, at least that day. She hoped Nico would stay too, but she told her she couldn't. Nico would visit the school and tell Hanayo's teachers what had happened. She'd collect her homework and print-outs, whatever they couldn't email to Hanayo, to get to her later. Then she'd go back to the little cottage they were renting, make sure everything was put away and shut down, and go back and see her family. She was overdue. She would probably talk to Nozomi in person, as well. Both Nico and Nozomi had time off from college because both of them were mostly studying independently. Too much time off now would take its toll later, but Nico was okay with that. And Nozomi had been at the shrine most of the time, lately, for some reason.

Hanayo asked for a very small breakfast. It ended up being toasted English muffin and tea. In her old room here, she had homework for Rin, who had skipped school to attend the competition. She would have come back to catch only a few days before summer break. The homework had been at her and Nico's cottage, and for some reason, she'd packed it. Part of Hanayo wanted to tear it up, but part of her said that felt like throwing Rin's memory away.

She put her plate and cup in the washer, and went to her room. She got the homework for Rin, and brought it to her mother.

"This is homework for Rin. Can we .. can we perhaps start a scrapbook?"

"We can go get one right now, Hanayo. I don't have any in the house we can use."

Hanayo nodded. Keep too busy to think was still her plan.

It didn't take them very long to find a store nearby that sold scrapbooks. They were back in forty minutes. Hanayo put the homework in it. It had a light cover, and Hanayo wrote "Rin" on the front in large, black characters. She sat next to her mother on the couch, and they listened to koto and shakuhachi music. Her mother hugged her, and she felt a little soothed. She only thought about Rin being dead, say, twice an hour.

* * *

Nico felt very alone and sad at their cottage. It was very nice for something they could afford to rent, pooling their money. But now, without Hanayo, with everything shut off, it was quite a sad place. And there was more. She was starting to get like Nozomi or something. A couple of times, she'd had the notion that Rin was there. That she was just out of sight, looking for something, and that she'd call out from around a corner, say something to Nico, any time now. Even stranger, she felt like Rin could see her. It really was a sensation of being watched. Rin had visited here, but not a lot. Mostly when Hanayo was alone, but when Nico was there too, she'd been gracious enough.

"Well," Nico said. "it's clearly not good to be alone. We should come back together, and seeing our families in the meantime is obviously the right thing to do. If I am having crazy thoughts and sensations, what would Hanayo be like?"

Because she wasn't sure when they'd be back, she packed everything that would spoil in her bag, adding an icepack. She remembered with a shudder that Hanayo had put Rin's homework on the little table in their bedroom. Interestingly, it was gone, meaning that Hanayo had probably grabbed it and put it in the bag Nico had packed for her. So many sad things. They'd been discussing getting a kitten, and Nico was now thoroughly glad they hadn't. But when they were back here, she'd insist on it. Hanayo needed animals around her, and she needed something to comfort her — besides Nico, of course. Hanayo would probably name it Rin-chan, so Nico would marshal her feelings, and be ready to agree. She locked the door carefully behind her, and thought sadly about Hanayo.

She was a little worried about the milk she'd packed, but when she got to the station, she took the train that brought her near the shrine, anyway.

* * *

Yazawa Kotono turned off her phone and shook her head. Her daughter had phoned to say she was visiting Toujou Nozomi at the Shinto shrine she worked at, before heading to the Yazawa home. She was bringing a lot of perishable food, so she hoped her mother could use most of it when she got there.

She had definitely not had as warm a feeling for Hoshizora as she'd had for the other girls, she reflected. How could she, given what she'd found out from Nico and Hanayo? But clearly, the idol club had become a kind of web of togetherness for the girls, each of them there for different reasons. And if you removed one of the nine, you had … this. It reminded her of the time when her husband had died; you could rebuild these webs, but never as strong as before. And it took a very long time.

Just that, she decided. Tell Nico just that. As for her other children — say as little as possible to the two youngest. Talk it over with Cocoro and Nico.

Her own high school experience had been warm and friendly, but not as much as Nico's third year was turning out to be. When she reminded herself of how bad the first two years were for Nico without the Muse girls, she didn't envy her. Kotono, herself, had married her high school boyfriend when she was seventeen. And he had died before she could turn thirty. While she did venerate her husband's memory, the truth was that she had been too tired and busy to look for a new man to help raise four children with. Now that one had left the house, she was still only thirty-six, and looked ten years younger. It probably wasn't too late. Nico had always been a mirror for her, she saw so much of herself in her it was a little scary. Seeing what loneliness did to Nico made her question whether she should change her habits, now that Nico was living with Koizumi Hanayo. Just like the fans, she'd always assumed that would be Nishikino, but you never really knew where life would twist and turn you to.

She thought about what a roller-coaster Nico's emotions must be on now, and decided to make cocoa when she got home. It was good that she had no work tonight, but she would have taken time off even if she had. Spending a few days together would be very good for all her children, but especially the eldest. She would ask Nico if Hanayo wanted to visit, too. She wouldn't mind them sharing the bed in Nico's old room. Cocoro had moved some of her things back to Cocoa and Cotarou's room, not complaining, and while it was a sad occasion, she was obviously happy to have Nico back home for a while. Nico probably felt about Cocoro the way Kotono felt about Nico, seeing a lot of herself in her younger sister. Nico would be too tired to talk late tonight, and she should say so, so Cocoro wasn't caught by surprise.

"Poor Rin," she finally thought. She imagined how she would feel if it were Nico, and resolved to send the Hoshizora's sympathy greetings tomorrow, even though she didn't know them well.

* * *

When she arrived at the shrine, Nico found Nozomi was being more purposeful than she had ever seen before. She was dressed in a black hakama and haori, and doing various things with candles and rice Nico didn't understand. Without turning around, she greeted Nico.

"Hi, Nico," she said, still focused. "Did you want to talk about something?"

Nico went along, as she usually did. "Hanayo and I told the Hoshizoras they should visit you. I mentioned that Rin never saw you, um, that day, and that you had a bad feeling about her, and that I told Maki, and, we also said they should visit Maki, and I think they are doing that now. They wanted us to ask if it was okay to visit you."

"Yes, Nico, that's fine. I need to stay calm, and it does you good to stay calm, too." She turned around with a small smile, and gestured for Nico to follow her away from the area she'd been working in.

"As for what I am doing, which I think you're curious about … I will only say that there is a lot in this world we normally don't look at. Sometimes, you have to work around certain things, and other times, you need to take steps, so this time I am taking steps."

"Is this about that other shrine?"

"Ah, Nico, you actually listen sometimes?"

"Of course I do, Nozomi. Is this something you see in your cards?"

"No, I couldn't be here for years without noticing that that shrine is angry and dangerous. But the main thing it is angry at is this shrine, so it's not our place to shoo people in general away from it. Of course I wish I had found Rin and done just that … "

Nico wondered how seriously she should take this. Nozomi was always half-joking about everything she said about these issues.

"You can help me, then, Nico." She had garments that fit both Nico and Eli, who'd helped her out on several occasions. Nico, unknowingly taking a page out of Hanayo's book, felt like doing anything was better for her spirits than doing nothing.

They took incense sticks and lighters and left the shrine. Nozomi said she'd purified herself, and she waved smoke over Nico, making her cough. After that, they walked on. Finally, Nico was seeing the rumored evil shrine. Nozomi seemed to really be on her wavelength today. "I would call it a hostile and angry place, not necessarily an evil place. It grants wishes, but in a harmful way. Our shrine is simply to ease the spirits. But it has attracted and attacked me, and mine, and now I am threatening it."

They put incense that produced four different colors of smoke at the four cardinal points, and another in the heart of the shrine. Nozomi sprinkled water over its signs and its rotting collection box.

"Now it can't defend itself as well. If it were reported, it would probably be sold, and the land repurposed now," Nozomi said, matter-of-factly.

Nico was still going along, so she just asked if that was Nozomi's plan.

'

"Not really," was the answer. "It's never good to destroy a spiritual place, whether good or bad, not with the way they are already disappearing." Nozomi turned around, and now her smile, while still not happy, was a little more genuine. "Now I am going to leave. Every minute I am here is only stirring up more hostility. But Nico, will you trust me?"

Nico looked at her, surprised.

"What I mean, Nico," Nozomi continued, "is, will you help me by doing things just because I asked for your help?"

Nico told her "Yes," of course. What was the point in coming all the way here, otherwise?

"Over on the _honden_ , just inside, is an old wooden shovel that you can move incense ashes with. I shouldn't touch anything in here, but you are an injured party - I am, as well, but I just indicated my displeasure to whatever Kami is here, and you had done nothing, the reason it targeted Rin was because of our shrine. Please fetch it."

It took Nico a while to find anything in the dusty, overgrown, decaying building, but she eventually found it, and came back to Nozomi.

"Now, Nico, I am going to leave the area. I want you to carefully pull apart the collection box and the two signs. I've made a note of what was on them, and we will change that, but only a little. Watch out for splinters, this old wood is dirty."

Nico had agreed she would help Nozomi without knowing why, so she just nodded.

"I am putting one of the lighters in your _hakama_ , it has a small pocket. It's now your lighter, you should keep it after you leave. First, I want you to burn the collection box. You should gather all of the wishes you can find scattered around the honden and use one-third of them to burn it with. Right in that pit over there, it was used for incense most recently. When it's burned up, take the ashes and move them with the shovel over where the collection plate was. Then you can leave, and join me. Leave the parts of each sign where they were, but put a third of the wishes under each one."

"Nozomi, we aren't going to do anything with them?"

"No, Nico, you aren't, and I'm not. I think Hanayo and Maki-chan have to handle them, the same way. You should give your lighter to them, and remember to say to whichever it was — probably Hanayo - that it's theirs now. And that they should do the same. I know what wood they were made of, and, unfortunately, I want you to buy the wood and build a new collection box."

"Why me, with the expensive part?"

"My guess is Nicocchi has more power than the other two, and this is a bigger deal. I can't pay for it, and I can't build it, and neither can anyone else, even Maki-chan or Hanayo. Do you understand, so far?"

Nico, she felt a bit begrudgingly, nodded.

"Good." Nozomi turned around, and her smile was real this time. "You know, Rin's wish is probably still pinned up somewhere, so Nico may want to collect that and put it in the hakama, that's a special one."

Since there seemed to be no point in stalling, Nico went and did as she'd promised. She found the little wooden shovel just inside the entrance of the honden, and left it just outside. As Nozomi had guessed, she found Rin's wish right away. She stared at it, and tears filled her eyes. Dutifully, numbly, she placed it in the hakama, then gathered up the wishes, questioning the whole time why she was doing it. I have a lighter, she thought. I should set the woods on fire and burn this sick, evil place to the ground.

When she dumped the wishes, and found Nozomi standing far away from the shrine, she seemed to realize Nico's mood from her expression. "So fierce, Nicocchi! Please let me read Rin's wish. Don't give it to me, hold it up. I shouldn't touch anything."

Nico dutifully did as requested. Nozomi teared up, as well. She also guessed what was in Nico's mind:

"You have every right to be as angry as you are, Nico. It's not exactly an evil place, Nico, though it is now doing evil things. I knew it was malicious, but I never guessed it would turn to killing someone who made a wish and an offering. Did Nico notice if the offering box had money?"

Nico had looked, out of morbid curiosity, and thought she'd seen a five-hundred yen coin.

"Well, there you go, Nico. It shouldn't be doing that. I knew it was trouble, but it wasn't the place of a miko at the shrine that angered it to intervene. But now, I wish I had asked someone to. It grants wishes, you know. My shrine was always simply to give peace. But that one, granting wishes became a way of punishing people for deserting it. Back when my shrine was built, shinto shrines were competitive, not always respectful. Now, we must deal with the consequences."

"Can you call that granting wishes? Isn't it like that story we had in 2nd year English with the monkey's paw?"

"Even that story, Nicocchi, it left out a lot. The English at that time, in India, they were big killers. And their cruelty to the people of India was legendary. That talisman, it probably had a history of death and torture behind it. Not that we Japanese didn't admire the British Empire, and imitate it, and do things just as bad, of course. But this shrine — it's not entirely cursed. I think it's dying, and lashing out. But it can be reclaimed, I can feel it."

"Is that what you want me and Maki and Hanayo to do?"

"No, though it's a start. What I think is needed takes the right priest and the right mikos and so on. Sometime, our good researchers like you and Eli and Hanayo should help me with that. But mainly, I want peace for you and Hanayo and Maki-chan. And the rest of us, of course. The Hoshizoras. Rin, too."

"Rin?"

"Yes. I think she's completely not at peace. Not at all. So much so, I wonder if Nicocchi has sensed anything?"

"I … I might have, Nozomi. When I was at our place, it felt like Rin was there, just out of sight."

"Yes, that's how it is, Nico."

"Why would she be haunting me and Hanayo?"

"Well, Nico is tied to Rin almost as tightly as Hanayo and Maki are; though it's not all positive, it's still there. And Nico is more spiritual, I think, than most people guess."

"If this shrine is a monkey's paw, Nozomi, and if you want to involve Hanayo and Maki-chan, what if … what if they wish her back? Remember that story?"

Nozomi didn't say anything for a while.

"They will. So Nico must, too. Because Nicocchi is closer to having her thoughts and her spirit in balance now."

"This thing can raise the dead?"

"No, Nico," Nozomi said, amused. "It's more like Obon. I have never, myself, personally seen a spirit, but I have felt them then. I think this time, I will see one. We should talk more after Nico is done, it's getting a bit late."

Nico went back. She divided the wishes into thirds. To her surprise, the paper wishes were enough to burn the collection box to ashes. Sure enough, she saw Rin's 500 yen coin. She used the shovel to move the ashes and the coin to where the collection box had been, taking care not to get any dirt with them. She put a third of them under the sign she would ask Hanayo to take care of. When she got to the one she would ask, or have Hanayo ask, Maki to take care of, she put the wishes under the sign. Then she put Rin's wish on top, and weighted it down with the stake. She made her way over to Nozomi, again.

"Nico, I am going to leave everything in your hands, going forward. Both of us are victims, but this _jinja_ and its _kami_ — and I think the _jinja_ is now a kind of _kami_ , or it's bound so tightly to its _kami_ that they're the same thing — see my shrine as harmful, so it won't make allowances for me. And I am going to depend on a spiritual power I think Nico doesn't know she has. And maybe Hanayo and Maki-chan, too."

They made their way over to Nozomi's shrine and went in. Nozomi made tea, and she sat down to talk with Nico again. Nico had phoned home. Her mother promised to keep food warm for Nico, and asked her if she could get Hanayo to visit soon. Nico told her she'd be delayed a bit more before going home, since she was doing something with Nozomi at her shrine.

"Nico, maybe the most important thing I haven't said: when the spirits come back, at Obon and other times. They aren't really themselves."

"What do you mean?"

"They're mostly shaped by our ideas about them. They're not their real selves, and they sense it, but don't know what to do about it. That's one reason most spirits are troubled. Sometimes, they'll even agree with mistakes their loved ones make about them. So skeptical people point that out, and everyone thinks it's all nonsense."

"Okay, what can I do about that?"

"Well, a lot, really. This isn't what I deal with at my shrine, but the Buddhist teaching that you should clear your mind of all thoughts and beliefs before dealing with the spiritual — that is the truth. When you're wishing to see the dead again, you can't imagine them, you shouldn't have any thoughts about them at all. Just feel your yearning, and accept whatever you get. Then the spirits aren't shaped by anything, and they can remember what they are. This is what Nico needs to get across to Maki-chan and Hanayo. After you tell them what wood to buy and what to put on the signs, and so on. You're making a significant offer, a kind of promise. I've just threatened the shrine. It will do what you want. This will be good for all of us, even the shrine. Because Nicocchi was able to not just forgive Rin, but understand her, everything will turn out for the best. Or the best that would have happened without Rin being victimized in the first place."

They'd basically said all they needed to say. Nico changed back into her street clothing, and found that Nozomi had put a marker in her pocket. She realized she was completely numb, her thoughts basically blank. It was obvious what Nozomi was trying to say. As she said goodbye and turned to the door, she heard Nozomi say, behind, her, "I know all of you always wondered if I take all this seriously, you know? I think Nicocchi has solved the mystery now." And after a pause, "The answer is, 'Yes.'"

She left Nozomi's shrine and made her way to the neglected shrine. She had a thousand-yen note that she placed on the ashes of the collection box and set on fire with her new lighter. Boldly, she marked on a paper wish she managed to find, "I want Rin back." Then, giving in to her fears about the shrine and its wishes, she also wrote: "as herself," and pinned it to the eaves. She headed to the train station. Once on board, she phoned Hanayo.

"I miss you, Nico!" she heard.

"Me too, Hanayo. Umm we really need to talk a lot about what I've been discussing with Nozomi. Mama wants to know if you can visit tomorrow night?"

Hanayo agreed, but wondered what was up with Nozomi.

"Hanayo, I've been sensing Rin's around. At our place."

"Around, Nico? I mean, I've forgotten about her being … gone. But …"

"No, I mean, I really wasn't thinking about her at all, and I was there making sure everything was alright, and suddenly it felt like she'd come along and was just out of sight. Like I'd hear her any second."

"At our cottage?"

"Nozomi said she expected that, because you and I are both there. That's what we need to talk about, Hanayo. I'd rather talk face to face so you know I am completely serious."

"Nico, I thought I was going crazy over this, so if you are, kind of, too, it's not a bad thing, exactly …"

"Let's save that part of the discussion for later, okay? Are your parents pampering you like they should?"

"I guess so. You were right I needed to be here right away. I miss you terribly. I can't imagine going back to school."

"Eventually you will, and in the meantime I will keep your school informed, so you don't have to drop out, Hanayo, because Rin would have wanted you to graduate, baby, and so do I."

They talked about nothing after that, to take their minds off things, until Nico's train arrived near her family's apartment. They exchanged "I love you" as Nico started walking home. I really do love her, she thought, after she ended the call. Even though I was sure I couldn't. Maybe Maki can love again, too. After all this — whatever this is — is over. Neither of them were planning to betray Hanayo, but the truth was, Nico would probably never stop caring about Maki or worrying over her.


End file.
